The Desires of My Heart are Changing

I am at a season in my life where I am wanting to be a “doer of the Word” and not just a hearer of the word. I remember sitting in church a few weekends back and thinking that peace is more important to me than an experience.
[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]I want the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in my life rather than searching for an experience.[/inlinetweet]

Right now I am searching for peace, not a title or even pursuing my “purpose” in life.

[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]I think we can often get so caught up in pursuing our purpose that we forget to allow God to pursue us.[/inlinetweet]

If you look at the Bible, God always showed up in people’s lives when they were simply doing ordinary things.

David was tending his sheep before he was anointed King.

Esther was just being a Queen when she had to have the courage to approach the King.

Mary (mother of Jesus) was doing chores when the angel appeared to her and said she was going to be the mother of the Messiah.

While the widow was gathering sticks to cook her last meal for her and her son, Elijah shows up!

Paul, while on the road to Damascus, saw Jesus and would never be the same again.

The woman at the well who was just drawing water met Jesus for the first time and had a conversation with him.

I could go on and on about how God just shows up in the Bible, to ordinary people doing ordinary things.

My husband said to me the other day: Small things can have big results.

The desires of my heart are changing, or maybe they are just finally getting aligned with God’s perfect will for my life.

It’s kind of scary because for awhile my ambition was my vision for the future, it directed my steps.

It’s difficult sharing this because the world, and even the church, will tell you to pursue something totally different than what I am saying. But there is an unsettled part of my heart that simply can’t continue doing what I’ve always done, or think the way I’ve always thought.

God can show up anywhere, and whenever I am able to realize a fruit of the Spirit within me, that’s when I know He is there with me.

[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]I think we all need to realize that it is God’s will for our life to be transformed by the renewing of our mind.[/inlinetweet]

Sometimes that can be a culture shock, in fact transformation of your mind WILL be a culture shock because it will always go against what is the cultural norm.

[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]Once your heart is changed you will feel a bit disoriented, and I guess for me I find peace in that.[/inlinetweet]

But God does not desire for us to fit in.

I remember homeschooling my kids when it wasn’t the norm, and I was OK with being different in that sense because I knew it was God’s will for my life at the time.

Even now, choosing to put my children in public school doesn’t seem to be the norm since homeschooling is becoming more popular.  I really had to ask God what He was up to when I felt led to put my children in public school, especially the timing of all of it.

But with every change, and with every decision our family makes that the outside world just can’t understand, I have to trust God more than I trust their opinions.

I think as we allow God to change our heart’s desire, transform our mind, and direct our steps we need to trust Him. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]There will always be people who don’t understand what you are doing, but that really doesn’t matter.[/inlinetweet]

I have found that if a person is to have any influence over your life, then it is best that they also have understanding, and clear direction in their own life.

If they don’t have a clear direction for their life, or if their advice is trying to make you conform to what they believe, then that is actually a case of the blind leading the blind.

I think as a culture, Christians are truly more bent on making people conform to the standard they have set, and the lifestyle they believe makes us a Christian, rather than helping us to grow into the person God created us to be.

[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]God said do not conform, that includes conforming to cultural Christianity as well as the world.[/inlinetweet]

I think one of the biggest wake up calls for me recently was having to start over in just about every area of my life.

From attending a different church, to my husband starting a new job, to completely redirecting my focus here online. I realized that this is a fresh start for me, and I want to strive for the things of God, and not anything else.

My children are 17, 11, and 10 years old. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]My focus has shifted, I haven’t given up, I’ve just redirected my energy. [/inlinetweet]

Everyone has a limit on time and the amount of emotional energy they can give to those around them.

Maybe it’s time we all assess our lives, and invest in the things that God has placed right in front of us instead of looking outside our homes in order to find that purpose.

I don’t think pursuit of God’s purpose for our life is wrong, but I do believe we are all subject to selfish ambition, and maybe God’s purpose for our life isn’t one we have to pursue because it’s right under our nose.

The desires of my heart are truly changing, and I still need to make changes in my life to reflect my new heart, but I am thankful that God is with me every step of the way.

I am learning that you can still dream big, even if it’s just for the little ordinary life you already have.

[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”” suffix=””]Don’t be afraid to let your heart change.[/inlinetweet]

I am still trusting in God’s timing, but in the meantime my vision for what those dreams fulfilled look like is truly changing.